My Unsung Hero!!

Everyone of us have different people as our Hero's or role models. For most of us our Hero will be our Dad. But most of the time I admired different people with talents and influencers are role model in my life. But never realized the worth of my Dad and all what he did to me over my entire life. He may not be the person who would express himself to show his love towards his children. But his actions and everything he did would be of love. He gave himself completely sacrificed his life without even thinking anything for him. Though we came from a very middle class family and though his salary was very little during his early days he made lot of sacrifice to ensure we get the best education. Without his sacrifice I really don’t think I could have got admitted to some of the best schools and colleges I have studied. He never used to buy or saved anything for himself He gave everything. When I decided to start my business my Dad was little upset as I was little settled at that time earning pretty good without any Debts. My Dad's major worry was that I shouldn't be getting into any major Debt. Cos He never borrows money and he always raised us to live with what we have. He all his life lived like that. But due my chasing of bigger dream of getting into business I got into major debt. I got stuck I couldn’t even start. In the early days He sold almost everything without even keeping anything for himself He gave his all so that I could get started. Even during few days of running as I couldn't have that breakthrough as it expected and the debt kept increasing he even emptied his all little savings he had as well. During the lockdown sometimes he gave all his pension money as well sometimes to have my ends meet. His all worries were I was in debt, wish I continued in the job so wouldn't have got into such major debt. I was so hopeful I will make you very successful and make you proud and will be able to give the best life possible. But I didn't even realize or in my worst dreams thought that you will be leaving me and you wont be there to see all of this. Even If I make it all big and successful I still wont get the opportunity to keep you happy and give the best life what I dreamt of giving you. This is the first birthday you won't be there with us. Last year was the first time ever we celebrated your birthday at Goddy's but didn't even think that would be your last birthday with us. If I could look back and say some of the moments which I felt little happy. The time as family we all went to Srilanka. Appa opening Goddy's during the launch and spending last couple of days and minutes with you in Hospital during your last days. Though I may become successful and be out of all by debts in the coming years the regret of not giving you the best life and unable to do anything for you will remain as scar through of my entire life. Miss U So much Appa!! Happy Birthday!! I'm just hoping and believing that you are always there and watching me from Heaven. Miss you Appa!!!! I want to Thank you for everything you did beyond all your abilities and for all the sacrificial life you lived. Thank you Appa!! You were my Unsung Hero!!

Flying Abroad

Most of us have the fantasy of travelling Abroad & Settling down in foreign country. For some reason I never had that as a desire neither for studies nor for work. After finishing my college most of my friends travelled to US to do their masters. Time flew and after completing couple of years in IT. Got the opportunity to travel to Singapore for my friend’s convocation. As soon as I landed in Singapore, I was marveled looking at the infrastructure, the transportation and cleanliness. The immediate thought came to my mind wasn’t when I will be settling in this country, it was when will I see my country and my City Chennai like this. Times flew by got the opportunity in the company to travel to US for work and my manager pushed me so much and got everything approved to proceed further for the H1B Visa. But some how I felt that not my cup of tea and I didn’t purse on it. I haven’t seen any of my friends who have gone to studies or to work never returned back. Somehow the comfort zone and the luxurious life they had in the other countries never let them to come back again. I always wanted to be with my parents not sure that was the reason or the promise which I got from the Lord I will settle in our own land I never felt to be travelling and working from abroad. I had always seen my friends who have studied with me and who have worked with me after settling down in their own country may be they are earning really good, but they hardly would visit our country or to see their parents. Sometimes I have gone to see their parents of my friends who had settled abroad, I could really feel their parents missing their children in their eyes without a spoken word and sometimes even I hear them say. I had seen instances when some of my friends not even able to visit even for their own siblings weddings or even for the death of their own parents. I later travelled couple of times to US after I have shifted to another company on business trips for team meetings, Microsoft Conferences. Also I have travelled to Japan for work related. Every time I have visited all these places the same thought will keep lingering in my mind, when will I see Our country or city Chennai Like this. Never I felt like when will I settle in any of these countries. But I always love to travel, travelled to Srilanka also couple of times for conferences and personal vacations. My thirst for travelling all countries have increased so much but never settling down in other country. If I would have taken a decision as 99% of my friends have done I really don’t know whether I would have ever taken this bold decision of leaving my high paying job to chase my dream of starting own business. I’m not at all saying that my friends have made wrong choice of being settled in abroad and I’m great of being in my own country. I’m just sharing of what my cup of tea is all about. Probably I may not have earned like most of my friends have done who have settled in other countries. But I have a little satisfaction of being with my parents and chasing my dreams. Still trusting God on His Promise which he gave I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the LORD have spoken, and I have done it, declares the LORD.’” – Ezekiel 37:14 Also waiting to see my country an City like that someday, And my love to travel all the countries is still on the rise, hoping the COVID situation to get over soon and could get started on the travel itinerary… Flying Abroad!!!

Drive to Remember

During the year 2015 met my friends Sam and Saravanan after 13 long years. Sam has been settled in US and Saravanan has become a very influential business Man by that time. During those days I was working in IT and my shift would get over by 11.00 PM. It had become a practice for us to meet almost every night around 11.30PM at Besant Nagar beach and we will leave from there and go to Westin Hotel and we will spend our time together till 3am. Once me and Sam were waiting for Saravanan inside the Hotel and Saravanan called us to come out to the Lobby to introduce to someone. Me and Sam were quite confused. As we went to see him we say the amazing beauty standing next to Saravanan. She was in milky white color with perfect shape and her body curves were amazing, it was the Jaguar my Dream Car. Saravanan asked us to get inside the car for a ride. As soon as sat in the car felt like heaven, sitting on my dream car, every part of the body inside the car felt like a touch of an artist. As soon as started the car and zoom I felt like I’m flying. Sitting on my Dream car on a drive, I felt this has to be the drive which I have to remember forever. While returning from the drive, Saravanan stopped his car and gave me the keys to drive. Lot of thoughts were running on my mind. As I used to have a habit of not driving any vehicles until I own. Until I owned a bike of my own never drove my friends bike and never drove any of friends car until I got my own. That day I kept all my principles aside and took the car for a drive. I just pressed the accelerator with a soft touch it flew like a jet. Still I couldn’t believe myself driving my dream car. Driving the car I was saying to myself, its not just sitting on the Jaguar during the last test drive now I’m driving the car would be the one which I have to remember forever. Days passed by and our routine continued of staying late nights in beaches and then in the Westin Hotel and returning home late night. One such day Saravanan came to drop me home late night and we were sitting in his car near my home and we both were still chatting. Suddenly we felt a knock on the car window. We both were quite shocked it was a lady in a scooty knocking that also late at this time. With little doubt and confusion we lowered the car window, she seems little tensed stating her father-in-law is not well and can you help to take him to hospital as they called the ambulance and it might take some more time to come. We both were little confused whether it’s a genuine request or it’s a trap seeing us sitting on the luxury car. As I have been living in this area for almost 10 years and never seen anyone late this night. Without even saying a word Saravanan said lets go, I said to him drop his car here, we will go in my Honda city. He said that’s ok and we followed her. As we kept following her, in the side of a house we saw a crowd of people and we saw one old man sitting down. His son assisted him to get in the car and he also joined him. We then started driving the car. As soon as we started the car, dad said to his son sorry for all the trouble. I don’t know what to say brought some courage and said uncle don’t worry we will be there shortly and everything will be alright. The hospital which is just 3 mins away the drive felt like 3 hours of drive. As soon as we stopped the car and they started taking the old uncle in the wheel chair. As soon as they started to move him, he stopped the wheel chair and looked both of us and raised his hands with an attitude of gratitude and said Thank you. Me and Saravanan don’t know what to say tears started rolling in our eyes and we don’t have any words to say and we mumbled uncle we will park our car and we will be back. We parked the car and went to the hospital and they said he had an massive attack and they started examining him. His son again thanked us and said they will handle it from now on and asked us to leave. We left from that place with silence not speaking anything. The next day his son called to update that his father had a massive attack and we had reached on time that helped to save his dad otherwise anything could have happened again he thanked us so much. I was just rethinking of all those incidents happening for couple of days and I realized few things. We can be very rich and still We can always stay humble like Saravanan. Also we can help someone in need it may not be a major help, not a major finance help or anything. Just being there during their downtime a word of hope or encouragement when they need the most, it could be anything. Little things we do to others without expecting anything in return, the joy and happiness we get out of it can never ever be compared. Money and the pleasures of this world and even by possessing the best things in the world or being with the best influential persons in the world we can never get that kind of happiness. If you ask me now which one was your drive which you like to remember. the Drive when I was sitting on the Jaguar for the first test drive or when I drove my dream car Jaguar for the first time. I would say it would be the 3 min drive which we took the old man to the hospital will still remain one of my best drives and it will be the Drive which I would like to remember for my lifetime.

Traffic Signal

                         Today when I was on my way to office on the cab, it stopped in the signal. It was already delayed for my office, I was hoping the signal turn green so we can go immediately and need not wait. We always want the signals to be green, allowing us to go when we are in need and when it’s very urgent/ delayed. Many times it don’t happen the way we think, the time we expect signals to be green it would be orange making us to wait and many times red making us to stop.

            While waiting in the signal, it reminded me of few things. As the signal says Red-Stop, Orange-Wait, Green-Go, there are times in our life’s God wants us to Stop, Wait, and Go. It’s quite difficult some times to understand what God really wants to us to do. We would be expecting, everything to turn green to proceed on everything how we planned but God always doesn't give us the green signal. He sometimes wants us to really stop what we are doing and sometimes he wants us to wait. Probably we might be running ahead of God, so he wants to stop & wait for His signal to proceed.

Thank you Lord for reminding me through the signals, there are things you really want me to stop and at times you really want me to wait. Help me Lord to be sensitive to your signals, so I can Stop, Wait and Go according to Your signals.

Divine Provision

As we read in 2kings 4:1-7, we can see when the widow came to Elisha for help when her husband is dead and when the creditor came to take her two boys as slaves. 2Kings 4:2-4Elisha replied to her, “How can I help you? Tell me, what do you have in your house?”“Your servant has nothing there at all,” she said, “except a little oil.”Elisha said, “Go around and ask all your neighbors for empty jars. Don’t ask for just a few. Then go inside and shut the door behind you and your sons. Pour oil into all the jars, and as each is filled, put it to one side.”

 It might look weird, why did he asked her what she had when she came for help and also asked her to do something which can't be done with the oil she had.

Here we can see 2 things. Obedience of the Widow & the Miracle of God. Without asking anything/doubting she did as he said, if we were in that situation what we would have said? It’s not a possible thing to happen to pour and fill the jars with the little oil she had, but Our God is a God who can do things beyond our imagination/understanding. As we see when she did as what he said, she was able to fill all the jars with oil and there was no jar left and the oil stopped flowing.

He said to her on 2 kings 4:7, "Go, sell the oil and pay your debts, You and your sons can live on what is left."

God knows our needs, He is sufficient enough to meet for our Current and the future needs with the little things we have. He can multiply and make things overflow.

Thank you Lord for opening my eyes to see the Divine provision, which you can provide us with the little we have and make it sufficient to meet all our current and future needs. If I have grumbled/worried looking at my current situation forgive me Lord, Help me Lord to be obedient as the widow and to do as you say.

Fuel for the day

I was returning today from my friend’s home in my bike. I was travelling fast in the middle of the traffic, suddenly the bike chocked and stopped in the middle of the traffic. That’s when I realized I forgot to turn on the petrol tap while starting from the friend’s home. I have to push my bike out of the traffic then turn on the petrol tap, wait for the petrol to flow from the tank have to kick start few times for the bike to start to proceed with my drive.

This is what happens many times in our daily life’s, in our busy schedules when we are not connected to the Lord and when we not getting our Daily bread/Manna the fuel from the Lord. When we try to do things of our own, trying to run with the spiritual food we received some days/months before. Everything might seem to be going fine and smooth until when everything is chocked up and stopped. As the bike needed to get out of the traffic, to receive the fuel and get started back again. The same way we also need to get connected with him in spite of the busy schedules and our daily routines to get started back again where we were stopped. We can't do anything without Him. We can't proceed further without Him filling us with the fuel needed for us for the day.

Thank you Lord for reminding me, that I can't do anything on my own without You. Without You I'm nothing. Help me Lord this year to be connected with you everyday receiving your Heavenly Manna waiting on your presence and not to run on my own strength in spite of my busy schedules and work.

Backward & Forward

Looks like yesterday the year have started, but have come to the end of the year2011. Looking back the year, its amazing to see how Lord has lead me the through out the year. There were times when I thought that's the end and there is no way to go, but He made ways and opened the doors which I cannot imagine. He blessed me in many areas of my life and took me to places for which I really don't deserve. He helped me to accomplish many things which is beyond my reach, beyond my abilities just to experience there is nothing impossible through HIM. He helped me to learn many things through failures, sorrow and pain rather than through success and happiness. There were times I thought who would be there to help, but as we read in the scriptures "My help comes from the Lord", He helped in ways I really can't imagine or think. I really don’t have words to explain, He would bring people at the right time to meet the need. How great His ways are, no one can understand the way He Leads.
As we read in Isaiah 55: 8-9
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways  and my thoughts than your thoughts.
He didn't give all I wanted, but He provided ALL I needed. During the last year there were Lots of success, failures, ups & down, joy, sorrow, love, hate, fights, betrayals, abundance, adversity....Through all these phase I could only see Lord carrying me through this year.
Looking Backward I could only say THANK YOU LORD for all your Blessings and for all you have done!!

Starting the New Year 2012, with new hopes and expectations with Lots of dreams. Not knowing what it unfolds in the coming days, but I know only one thing My God is sufficient to provide all my needs. It might not be the way I wanted, not the path I wanted to take but He is going to the Lead me in His Unique way according to His will.
As we read in Isaiah 48:17 and Isaiah 30:21 He will teach us what is best for us and directs us in the way we should go.
Isaiah 48:17
This is what the Lord says- your Redeemer, the Holy one of Israel: I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.
Isaiah 30:21
Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, This is the say; walk in it."

I like this quote very much "I don't know the way that I take, but well do I know my Guide". Its very easy and comfortable when we know where we are heading. It's quite confusing, with lot of questions and doubts when we really don't know the way to go and what to do next in our life’s. Even though I have experienced His blessings and His guidance in the past I have lost my faith many times looking at my situation and circumstances. Forgive me lord for my lack of faith, increase the faith and help to see and experience your guidance in a very special way. Help me to experience your guidance in ways I have never experienced before and to see all that at you have planned for me in the years to come.
Looking forward, Holding on His promises and waiting in His presence to see Gods Leading in a very special way in all the areas of my life than before.