Jump Clip

During the year 2003 or 2004 at that time I was searching for job, quite unsuccessful in getting job at that time. At that time I had met Chandran Uncle after a long time. I used to stay during my school days while I was studying 12th. Since he came to know that I was looking for job at that time, with his concern for me updated me to meet someone. As he was travelling to US he asked me to meet someone who was the CEO of a company in EMPEE towers in Egmore. As I had to give my resume I took the printout already. As I reached near EMPEE towers that’s when I realised I didn’t have the jump clip to put on the resume printouts as there are couple of pages. Then I thought let me take that road adjacent to the EMPEE towers and find any stationary shop, I travelled almost 30 minutes in my bike couldn’t able to find not even a single stationary shop. As it’s already getting so delayed I was literally getting frustrated. I returned again and checked the opposite sides as well unable to find not even a single stationary frustration was at its peak. Again came near the EMPEE towers and took another left and started going further. As I reached to the frustration level I literally stopped the bike on the road and started to grumble. Why Lord not able to get a job that’s different thing, but I couldn’t even able to get just a jump clip that’s what I was literally grumbling. At that time I could hear a small whisper in the ears, God was saying just look to your left. I have never been in this road earlier. It was a stationary, I just parked the bike and got the jump clip and it was big shop and it had lot of files which was needed I bought them as well. As I was about to pay that time God was slightly whispering in my ears. How impatient you were when things were getting delayed. You started grumbling. Look at this shop even the jump clip what you want to get I’m making you buy from an elite stationary with completely air conditioned. It was a simple reminder for me how many times I get frustrated when things get delayed. But in every delays in every season of my Life I have seen always God has given me thee Best.

Unseen Blessings

Almost 2 years before on my birthday it was filled with lots of surprises. Exactly at 12 it was a birthday surprise arranged by Rohan and he made all my loved ones family and boys to be there exactly at 12. Didn’t ever expected that. It was day well spent with lunch with family and dinner with boys in café. It was lot of fun and last minute plans we discussed to end the day with movie or playing cricket. I was exited as soon as Rohan said cricket convinced all boys and went to play cricket. It’s been ages playing cricket or even doing any physical activity. Been just driving car sitting in front of laptop just the walking till the parking would have been the only major physical activity for some years. Was so pumped up as playing cricket during the childhood was the only joy during those days. Was so exited playing started hitting couple of sixes. It’s an indoor court had great fun. With all the excitement not only hitting for sixes just wanted to take even a single run didn’t want to miss that also. As this turf it had a mat as I kept running my walking shoes got stuck I flipped and fell over my shoulder hitting exactly on the ground. Had severe pain still kept on playing. When we started to field I jumped again like Jonty Rhodes flying in the high to catch a catch to later realise I couldn’t even able to move my hand. Then only we realised it’s a fracture or shoulder dislocation. Unable to even move my hand a left hand a bit cos of the pain. At this juncture also I couldn’t able forget the fun Wilpher wanted me to watch the video of gilli song to fix the shoulder dislocation. Immediately we paused the game and we started to the hospital. As soon we went to Kalyani hospital they said it’s shoulder dislocation and we don’t have physio so they suggested to go to Kalyani hospital. During that time when I was in the Emergency Dev and Cliffy singing happy birthday again to end the birthday. Then we went to Kalyani hospital and doctors gave the pain killer and they said it’s shoulder dislocation and they fixed the dislocation. And they put the band in the left hand and advised not to move for 15 days. In my lifetime from my childhood I never had any accidents or fracture or any injury and this was the first time I had that shoulder dislocation. Mostly we often even consider the left hand as most insignificant if we are right handed. When I was not able to do anything with the left hand that’s when I realised I couldn’t able to do lot of things which I used to do at ease. The basic little little things we take for granted. It could be just buttoning the shirt or lifting things, shifting gears. When the shoulder got dislocated and I was not able to do anything I wasn’t worried about anything. My only and only worry was will I be able to drive the car and That’s the only thing which I enjoy the most. If I had to drive all day I’ll still enjoy driving listening to my fav songs. Somehow I don’t like driving automatic cars love shifting gears and driving that’s why I was so worried I will never be able to drive the car again like I used to. After all of those happening during those 2 weeks that’s when I realised how often we don’t value the little little things as blessings what God has given us and we grumble for those unseen blessings. Most of the time Only when we lose them or it’s gone away from us we know how we taken for granted on the little little blessings what God has given in our life’s. By Gods grace I’m back to normal and started driving back again and did couple of solo long drives after that. It was a gentle reminder again for me to never take anything in life which God has given us how significantly small or little it may be but it’s a Bigger Blessing though significantly not seen it should never ever be taken for granted.

Scars for Life

Lot of things in our life happens within our control and there are few things happens beyond our control and we can’t do anything about it. Ups and downs are always part of life. Same to be with success and failures. There are few things in our life can be rewritten failures can be rewritten with success later, sorrows can be replaced with joy later, lost money or possession can be replaced with money or possessions later. But there are few scars in our life that can never be replaced forever. Losing my father was on of the biggest scars in my life. It may sound normal for everyone what a big deal in it, death is for all at one point in time in our life. I do agree with it, but the most paining part was failing to do my duties as son. Chasing my bigger dream I end up quitting my lucrative and high paying job. Against my fathers advice as I’m settled almost that time He didn’t want me to take that risk. But still I went ahead convincing Him. He sacrificed everything from my childhood. Gave almost everything nothing I would say he had bought for himself. Though he was very less paid at that time he made sure we get the best education. Though He may not be the expressive person showing or expressing His Love to US. His way of showing love was always on action and sacrificial love. Chasing my biggest dreams I ended up in huge debt. He emptied himself and gave everything though he wasn’t interested in me getting into debt. He sold all His property, FD’s even to a point during COVID season when everything was stand still He was providing through His Pensions. He still kept insisting in getting back to Job he wanted me to be married, settled and with no debts. I was pretty confident of making it Big in its due time so I was very hesitant in getting back to my lucrative high paying jobs. Though every loved ones of me tell me to do but I was adamant of not getting back to it. It’s not that I don’t value their suggestions or their concerns I’m so convinced that one day I’ll make it so big and huge. We plan and wait for lot of things to happen but life always gives us twists and turns so unexpected. Even in my wildest dream I never expected. COVID will come, it will become a stand still in business again into major debts. Also never ever thought I will be losing Him during COVID. I know I’ll make it big one day, whatever the money or success which I’m waiting for I’ll have it one day. But what is the point in me having all of that one day which I couldn’t able to repay or give back anything of what I wanted. I believed I’ll be able to give everything the best possible to Him. But I could never ever do that… I’m so sorry Appa for failing to do what I really wanted to do. I still don’t have answers to lot of questions as to why.. The thing of not able to do anything and give the best possible life to Him is the biggest Scar in my life till my death..

New Story

While writing or reading we always love to write or read a new line, new paragraph, New Page, New Chapter, New Book. Sometimes we often forget before getting into the new book, new chapter, new page, new paragraph or new line important thing is needed. Without that we can never even get into next line. It’s a very least and the small thing but that’s the key differentiator of all the new lines, page, chapter or Book to start. It’s nothing but the Full stop. We under estimate the power of full stop. This happens also in our life’s most of the time. Some amazing new Journeys, new opportunities, new jobs, new life long relationships, new meaningful friendships, new business, new ventures couldn’t able to start cos we haven’t yet kept full stop to our old journey, same old jobs, same old toxic relationships, same old fake friendships. We keep dwelling in our past reliving those old memories, stuck in the past glory. Unable to leave those jobs, friends, relationships. Now it’s a quick reminder for me to think and decide whether I still need to live on those past glory, failures, humiliation, wasting time on unwanted people by continuing with a comma or to keep a full stop and get in the new line, new paragraph, new chapter or even a new book. I have decided at this juncture in my life I don’t want any more comma and I need that full stop to lot of areas in my life, friendship, people, dreams, failures. And eagerly waiting to write lot of new lines, new paragraphs, new chapter and new book. Awaiting for lot of new dramatic stories to unfold.

Gratefulness or Grumbling

Today as I was reading the scriptures, I was reminded of the Israelites. How ungrateful and rebelling they were. How God did marvelous miracles and delivered the Israelites from the slavery. Doing lot of miracles in the enemy camp and delivering them from the Pharaoh. Seeing all those miracles and wonders and also miraculously saving them in the red sea by making a way and drowning the entire enemy camp. How many more miracles they have seen it. He lead them through the dessert cloud by the day and pillar of fire by the night how He was guiding them. Still the Israelites was grumbling, rebelling, forgot the covenant they worshiped idols they were not loyal to Him. They kept sinning against him and wilfully putting God to test by demanding Psalms 78: 17-19 17 But they continued to sin against him,     rebelling in the wilderness against the Most High. 18 They willfully put God to the test     by demanding the food they craved. 19 They spoke against God;     they said, “Can God really     spread a table in the wilderness? Psalms 78: 37-39 37 their hearts were not loyal to him,     they were not faithful to his covenant. 38 Yet he was merciful;     he forgave their iniquities     and did not destroy them. Time after time he restrained his anger     and did not stir up his full wrath. 39 He remembered that they were but flesh,     a passing breeze that does not return. It was a gentle reminder to me, How many times have seen God's goodness over my life. How many miracles and wonders He has done in my life though I'm not worthy and don't deserve any of His Blessings. Still He Blessed with me with lot of things. I'm no way different from the Israelites seeing all the miracles and wonders but still how many times I would have sinned and gone away from the Lord. Seeing all his provisions and all the blessings till how many times I would have been not grateful for all the goodness you have provided but would have grumbled for little little things. I'm sorry Lord forgive me for all of that and help me to be grateful all your Blessings and for all the things I have and let me not sin and grumble for the things I don't have.

Burning the Bridges

Couple of weeks before I read about burning the bridges and it kept lingering in my mind for quite sometime. It happened long time before in that story where the king when they went on war on a ship with just 300 or 600men. Whereas the other opposition in that Island was in thousands. As soon as they landed in the island the king ordered their men to burn down their ship. The ship was completely burned down, now there was no way for them to return unless they win the war. To the surprise they ended up winning the mighty opposition who were in their thousands with just mere 300 or 600 men. It was a reminder for me most of the time we always keep a backup plan if this doesn't work, I’ll get back to what I was already doing. Most of the time in business or relationship or jobs. When we keep chasing the dreams if that didn't work its always a easy way out stating that it didn't work so I can get back to what I was doing earlier. Sometimes its necessary to burn down the bridges after we travelled that path how glorious it may be or how hurtful it may be after passing through the bridge we shouldn't turn back and go back in the same path again. It could be the old job which is calling you back so that you can leave your dream of chasing the business or it could be any old relationship which you moved on is calling back. Its really necessary to burn down the bridges that’s when we can explore unidentified paths unknown destinations unimaginable relationships. Now its time to reflect what is the bridge that you haven't burned down yet which is calling you back which will make you miss the unidentified paths, unknown destinations or the unimaginable relationships.